Chapter 2: Steps Toward Hope
These practical, proven strategies can give you immediate help in dealing with the effects of hopelessness. You might think of dozens of reasons not to try, but there is one overarching reason to act—you are important to God! He loves you and wants you to break out of hopelessness.
If you are drowning in a sea of hopelessness, please grab a lifeline! Reach out to others, seek professional help and consider some of the proven and effective ways of dealing with hopelessness and depression featured in this chapter.
Taking this first step can seem impossible, but we pray that you will give it a chance. And we hope you will pray for God’s powerful, loving hand to guide you. You’ll find more about how God is the ultimate solution in the next chapter.
But first, here are some immediate steps experts advise for climbing out of hopelessness, whether what you are experiencing is mild, moderate or even severe.
Exercise
Perhaps the last thing you want to do when feeling hopeless and depressed is to exercise. But a great deal of scientific research shows that it can actually help you break out of the negative cycle. Exercise naturally releases endorphins that can have mood-changing effects.
A review of the research concluded: “In summary, exercise appears to be an effective treatment for depression, improving depressive symptoms to a comparable extent as pharmacotherapy and psychotherapy. Observational studies suggest that active people are less likely to be depressed, and interventional studies suggest that exercise is beneficial in reducing depression” (James A. Blumenthal, Patrick J. Smith and Benson M. Hoffman, “Is Exercise a Viable Treatment for Depression?”).
In addition, other diet and lifestyle changes can naturally increase the levels of important brain chemicals like dopamine and serotonin. Research this further on reputable health sites on the Internet.
Journaling
Many therapists encourage their clients to record their thoughts and feelings in a journal. This has several benefits. It is therapeutic, and it helps journalers sort through life experiences to arrive at “aha” moments that allow self-awareness of why they’re feeling hopeless. Also, it’s a record of progress. It’s easy to get stuck in hopeless thinking and forget that there were better times, or that there were worse times that we’ve survived—and we’ll survive this too.
Connecting with others
Struggling with depression and hopelessness can cause us to isolate ourselves. But if we can force ourselves to connect with others, socialize and perhaps even find a loving accountability partner to help us, it can be a big help. Socializing itself is a healthy way to stabilize your mood because it naturally releases feel good chemicals in the brain.
Medical News Today quotes psychologist Susan Pinker as saying, “Face-to-face contact releases a whole cascade of neurotransmitters and, like a vaccine, they protect you now, in the present, and well into the future, so simply … shaking hands, giving somebody a high-five is enough to release oxytocin, which increases your level of trust, and it lowers your cortisol levels, so it lowers your stress.”
Behavioral-activation therapy
This means getting involved in uplifting and meaningful activities—even though you don’t feel like it. Most seriously depressed people have no desire to do this and need a trained professional to help them understand how and why.
“People with depression often withdraw from the world, and this therapy seeks to bring them back in. Treatment involves helping people identify activities that add meaning to their life, like reading, volunteering or hanging out with friends, and encourages them to do these things without waiting for their mood to lift first. In a recent study published in the Lancet, this kind of therapy was shown to be as effective as CBT [cognitive- behavioral therapy]” (Mandy Oaklander, “New Hope for Depression,” Time, July 27, 2017).
Motivational speaker Kathy Eubanks recommends, “One great tip when feeling hopeless is to do something of service to someone else. For example delivering Meals on Wheels or making a phone call to a shut in. When we do something for others, we gain a sense of purpose. We also see that others may be facing challenges as well.”
People who are mildly to moderately depressed can benefit greatly from helping others. We can gain perspective on our situation by seeing that others have it worse or be encouraged by how others are coping with their own difficult situations.
Animal-assisted or pet therapy
Jeff Nalin, a licensed clinical psychologist at Paradigm Malibu Treatment Centers, says:
“Pet therapy has played a significant role in helping patients overcome depression. Bonding with animals causes our brain to release endorphins, the hormones responsible for making us feel happy and content. Animals also comfort us in times of need and provide unconditional love, which can be extremely therapeutic.
“Additionally, taking care of a pet will instill a sense of responsibility, and will encourage habits that may alter depressive thoughts. Because animals are dependent on us, we will take the necessary steps to satisfy their needs. For patients taking care of dogs, this means going outside and getting active. Animals are also wonderful icebreakers, so they can be particularly useful in therapy with depressed patients who tend to withdraw socially.”
12-step programs for addictions
There are also many resources for those dealing with addictions. Jeremy Evans, alumni coordinator for Project Turnabout Centers for Addiction Recovery, writes:
“It has often been said that, ‘alcoholics and addicts struggle with a thinking disease which leads to a drinking disease.’ What that means to me, in my experience, is that somewhere in my own thinking there is a deeply rooted and well-defended hopelessness that needs to be uprooted” (“Coping With Hopelessness”).
To do that, he recommends going “back to what works— traditional 12-Step recovery” such as Alcoholics Anonymous.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy and other professional help
Hopelessness, depression and other challenges can be too much to handle on your own, so it can be helpful to seek professional help. Cognitive behavioral therapy, for example, “helps patients identify unhelpful or negative thinking, change inaccurate beliefs, change behaviors that might make depression worse, and interact with others in more positive ways” (“Overcoming Depression,” American Psychological Association).
Dr. Nalin adds, “The therapy is focused on helping patients to make changes in their own lives, and thus extends beyond the sessions with a therapist through ‘homework’ and practical activities.
“Because CBT focuses on helping patients to modify behaviors that are related to the struggles and symptoms they are experiencing, it can be a very powerful tool in treating addictions, and helping to prevent relapse. Some of the practical steps that CBT might incorporate into treatment plans include adding positive activities to the patients’ lives and restructuring negative and/or false thought patterns.”
Yolanda Graham, chief clinical/chief medical officer of Devereux Advanced Behavioral Health, explains the importance of getting past the stigma of getting professional help:
“We know that many people who make the decision to end their lives have depression or another chronic mental condition—whether or not it’s been diagnosed. Some people might appear to ‘have it all’ and are fully functional with families and friends. It could be the captain of the football team or a CEO of a successful company. Unfortunately, no one sees it coming and, as a result, the impact is devastating. People living with mental illness need to be reassured that there is no shame or fault in having a chronic disease.”
Professionals also can recommend other effective treatments, including other therapies and medication.
Make the effort. Get the help you need to break out of the downward spiral of hopelessness.
Realize this too shall pass
These words might seem too simple, but experts through the ages have recognized their power and wisdom. When we are caught in the net of hopelessness, we can see no way out. But there is always a way. “This too shall pass” gives us a tool to begin to escape the net.
Such reminders can save lives.
Paige Hunter, a college student in England, knows. She uses her spare time to attach notes to a bridge notorious for suicidal jumpers. She writes these notes hoping to save the lives of strangers who might be struggling with negative or suicidal thoughts.
“I know you’re tired. I know you’re physically and emotionally drained, but you have to keep going,” reads one of Paige’s notes. “I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy,” another note reads, “I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.”
Another says, “Be strong because things will get better. It may be stormy now, but it never rains forever.”
According to Beverly L. Jenkins’ article “Teen Stops Suicide by Covering Bridge With Messages of Hope,” “Paige’s notes have reportedly saved six lives already” (Inspiremore.com).
If you are feeling suicidal, contact a help line like the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling 988 in the U.S.
See suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html for suicide hotlines in other countries around the world. They can help you see past the terrible present that feels like eternity.
A deeper level of hope
The approaches presented in this chapter can help a great deal in many circumstances. But there comes a time when even the best human solutions are not enough. We need more.
The next chapter explores a deeper level of hope that is ultimately satisfying and unshakable.